I’m reading bits and pieces of Manda Ringo’s The Syotaroh and stumbled over some quite personal passages in “Manda Ringo’s shotacon discussion” (「まんだ林檎のショタコン談義」縮めてまん談) on page 102.
After lamenting how shota recently has become synonymous with the hardcore depictions seen in eromanga, as well as elaborating on shame and being judged by society, she goes on to comment on fantasy and reality:
When I see a boy in reality, I feel no sexual desire. Well, sometimes I want to hug them close from behind. But that only happens inside my head. Real boys aren’t that sweet.
Manda Ringo (まんだ林檎), The Syotaroh, p. 102
Ringo’s view on real shota is almost identical to that of some of my research participants.
She goes on to explain why she thinks she became a shotacon:
I really wanted to become a boy. I went all in and lived that gender role. But as I grew up, my body became curvy and I became a girl. Up till middle school I almost never wore a skirt. Only shorts (半ズボン). But that started to look awkward after a while. At age 14 I had to accept that it was no good. So until 14, I was basically a boy. Of course, I didn’t consciously think of it like that, but when I have looked back later and thought about it, that’s how it was. How we think about the boy as a concept is probably influenced by such things.
Manda Ringo (まんだ林檎), The Syotaroh, p. 102
Ringo-san adds that this is why her own shota interest is directed towards boys in middle school, despite shota as such can mean boys in a rather wide age span. I also think that the sometimes traumatic events that occur around puberty heavily influence what kind of shota we come to like as adults.
What do you think? どうしてショタコンになったのか？